'I'm not innocent.
But, my evils do have good intentions.'
So. You want a bad bitch that can roll blunts, has an ass, drink like a champ, party, and be ‘one of the guys’?!
Dude. You fucking had her. You had her wrapped around your finger and you treated her like shit. Like completely and total shit. You flirt with these hoes on Twitter. And guess what, they’re not keepers. They’re hoes. If you consider a girl like that a wife then I’m glad I left. I’m glad we agreed to end our relationship. Once we broke up you were already talking to others. How do you think that made me feel?
You’re so fucking ridIculous if you think I was a terrible girlfriend. I’m sorry that I didn’t send nudes. I’m sorry I was modest and kind hearted. And I’m sorry I let you walk over me. I gave you everything I possibly could and more. I tried my hardest and if you didn’t appreciate that, then I don’t know what I ever did wrong. You taught me so much, good and bad. But I hope you change and learn how to treat a woman because if you don’t, I feel sorry for your next relationship and hopefully, she’s smart enough to know her worth. I now know mine, and I’m proud to say that I finally fucking realized that I don’t need you. And I never did. My time with you wasn’t wasted. Not at all. I learned from it. I cared for you and still do. But, I’m over everything. You do anger me because of the simple fact that you had a good girl. I’m not trying to be coincided. I may not have the best body but I do know everything that you wanted. You taught me how to roll and blunt. I can drink just as much as you. But then I remember, that within time, I still would have learned all that. I was a drinker before you. I knew I would give weed a try sooner or later. So, I’m sorry for being a terrible girlfriend and not doing exactly what you wanted. So, now. I’m finishing my education. I’m still rolling blunts and learning more from others. I’m still going out on the weekends. With guys that would kill to have what you once had. And that’s all I’ll be now, is the one you once had. Partying isn’t everything. I want my degree. Then hopefully during this time, I’ll find someone who wants me. And doesn’t want to change me. To be proud to call me theirs. After my heart chooses him, I’ll start a family and say bye to my partying days because partying isn’t everything. It’s not as cool as people think. It’s something to pass the time, not to do for the rest of your life. So, I’m glad I wasn’t your “Wifey Material”.
Okay. I’m done.
I learned in psychology class that red makes time appear to go by slower. It makes us highly aware of our environment, thus time seems to slow down because we start paying more attention to the little things around us. So when I learned you had to leave in a month, I started wearing red. I wore red dresses and bought you red shirts and kissed you with lips the color of strawberries. I told you it was my favorite color. You bought me red flowers which were accepted by hands with red nails and I tried to make jokes as much as possible, because I liked the shade your face turned when you laughed too hard.
In my sick, twisted, romance ridden mind, I swore this had some sort of effect on us. I knew our time was limited, so I did whatever I could to give us just a few more seconds together.
One thing they didn’t teach us in psychology, was what color made time go by faster. So when you left, I painted my walls blue and wore blue skirts and thought that maybe if I had blue curtains, everything would hurt a little less, but the time while you were gone didn’t go by any quicker. So I bought a yellow rug, and picked daffodils for my kitchen table, and thought that maybe if I wore yellow scarves, I wouldn’t feel like I was choking every time I heard your name, but the time while you were gone didn’t go by any quicker. So, finally, I picked up a pair of green sunglasses, and gloves the color of clover, and I bought seeds and shovels and flower pots because somehow, I had convinced myself that when spring came, I would absorb myself into gardening and that somehow plants would make me feel more full. But spring came and went and the time while you were gone didn’t go by any quicker.
It has taken me almost half a year, but I think I’ve finally realized that I can’t just rely on one color. I need all of them. I need the blue of your eyes and the raspberry shade of your lips. I need the white of your teeth and the charcoal of your hair. I need the color you get when you spend too much time in the sun and the shade you turn when you get slightly seasick.
I need you here because no matter what I do, my world has lost all color without you."
Please Come Back. I Am Sick of Black and White.
I’m having so many mixed emotions about this move.
It’s a huge change and I’m excited. But I’m constantly worrying about things. I’m worried about my jeep payment. Worried about my travel funds. I want these next 3 days to go by extremely fast because the wait and anticipation is stressing me out to the max. My chest hurts. My head hurts. My breasts constantly ache. Random little pains come and go in different parts of my body. And, lets not forget anxiety, as the cherry on top. It’s honestly beginning to worry me more than it should and that’s the anxiety talking. I wish I had more control over myself and emotions. It’s so hard to relax when you think something is seriously wrong.
you deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you and how beautiful you are all the time and i really hope you find that one day because you deserve to be loved